Love

"Life is all about timing...the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable...attainable. Have the patience, wait it out."
-Stacy Charter

Two and a half years ago today, I reached out for help. My basket full of life had just been dumped out and I was left shocked, scared, and confused. I had no idea where to start but knew I needed someone who could understand what I was going through, give me some sage advice, and not let me wallow in my sadness. I called my dad and Kay, but just couldn't get the words out. I called my best and dearest friends, but just didn't have the courage to admit what had happened. I finally reached out to the brother of a friend. He was just a few months further along than me and I knew he would have the words of wisdom I needed, but also the tender approach I needed as I sorted it all out.

Enter Todd Fudala. He was at the time merely an acquaintance, the brother of my good friend Bridgette, and someone who was trudging through the hurt that comes when life doesn't quite work out the way you thought. I had spent countless hours on the phone with Bridgette, trying to help her understand what he was feeling, trying to help her so she could help him. I had carefully considered what calling him would mean, but felt that I needed someone who didn't know me as well, didn't know my ex as well, and would be able to give advice with less anger and resentment than any other friend or family member could give at that time. Everyone else was so mad, and so was I, but I needed action and a plan.

Todd tells a great story of logging into work that morning, and mindlessly checking his Facebook and jumping out of his chair when he saw my message telling him what had happened. He jumped up, sprang into action, and has been doing that for me and next to me, and making my heart jump, ever since.

I said "Yes" last night...Yes to a life with a partner, Yes to someone who cares for me and cares about me, Yes to someone who brushes my hair out of my face when my hands are full, when I'm crying, or when I'm just washing the dishes, Yes to loving that man in the same way that he loves me - endlessly, Yes to a step father for my children, Yes to becoming a step mother to his children, Yes to a big family of big smiles, big fun, big grocery trips, big vacations and sometimes big tears, Yes to making it work for the sake of love and a marriage and the commitment of life together.

These lyrics are from one of our favorite musicians, Keith Urban...

You know I can't read your mind my love
But it seems to me
That your heart and mine tonight are
Defying gravity
There's something so familiar
And still so unknown
The closer that we get I swear it feels like coming home
And I'm ready to be brave
Oh yea then you look at me and say baby
If ever I could love I think it could be with you
If ever I thought I found somebody so true
I wonder if you feel
The same way that I do
If ever I could love
I think it could be with you

Happy Valentine's Day

These are the days that I love the contrast of my only childhood compared with the big family I have become a part of now...

The picture is of the kids after school at the kitchen table going through their Valentine bags, loving all the cards they got and trading candy. Yes, trading candy. Nope, I never did that. These kids come home and barter and trade all kinds of combinations to get that favorite candy. I brought my candy home, gave my mom the Snickers bars, gave my dad the 3 Muskateers bars and I ate a little of the rest.




This is Ava and Avarie at Ava's Valentine Party at Primrose.

I enjoyed a wonderful weekend with my Valentine and Valentines. Lucky me!!!

Winter 2011

I never expected to post such broad topics but life seems to be rushing by faster and faster. I guess time flies when you're having fun!

We have enjoyed a colder than usual winter here, including a few decent snowstorms. I always smile because most people here don't like winter or winter weather and they live somewhere that they don't have to deal with much of it. I, on the other hand, still love a good cold day, a good snow, and SEASONS in general. That being said, there are a few neighbors who do give me a hard time for wishing for cold and snow and that they are ready for me to wish for something else. I added a pic of Todd's house on one snowy morning in December.

Christmas was a blast this year! We were fortunate to get to spend Christmas Eve and morning with all 5 kids. What a fun job to shop and wrap all those gifts! Todd and I did almost all of our shopping for the kids while they were away with their other parents over Thanksgiving. Todd had to travel in December and I'm pretty sure I wrapped presents for 4 days! But the sight of the tree on Christmas Eve and then Christmas morning after Santa had come was pure JOY! The children were so excited and so appreciative of all the gifts the received. Everyone stayed quiet in bed until 7:00am, even though the boys had been up since EARLY and had already scouted all the presents. We put everything together and took up the entire curb with trash, but they are still playing with all of it in February. The Lego sets Santa brought the boys have proved to be especially challenging!

Todd and I took my kids to Colorado over New Years to see their dad. We were rescheduled due to weather on the East coast and were sad that we only got a few days in Colorado instead of five because we didn't get to go over to my dad's to visit. However, Todd and I enjoyed a few days of time together and enjoyed the big city.

I try to slow down and take it all in as often as I can because the weeks just fly by. Before I know it soccer season will start and the weather will be warm again.