Bandwagon

We admit it...we jumped on the bandwagon as the Broncos finished the season. The boys learned how to root for different teams, cheer for your team and be quiet if you can't cheer for the other team. Todd and Tate sure shocked me the night Tebow had the amazing drive to win their big game.

Guess Tate will need a Manning jersey next season...

Happy 11th Birthday, Enzo

Enzo hit the double toothpicks this year and celebrated with friends and a trip to Laser Quest. He is such a great oldest kid - empathetic, smart, sensitive, and witty. He has made Honor Roll for as long as I've known him and still comes in to give us hugs good night, right on the dot at 9:30. He requested an Oreo version of the cheesecake that Todd had made for New Years. Todd and I absolutely LOVE to make our kids' birthday cakes and this cake was delicious!
We shuttled the boys up to do some laser tag and the girls and I did some grocery shopping while they played. We picked up some sweaty boys and headed home for cake and presents.


Enzo and the boys clowning around at Laser Quest - Westin, Dylan, Christian, Matthew, Colby, Tate and Enzo


Enzo and his Oreo Cheesecake, per request


Enzo and his new Redskins gear

New Years 2011

After a big trip to NYC, we decided to keep it low key for New Years. Low key for us though means Molly driving 5 hours to Baltimore to pick up Tate and Avarie while Todd spends the day running errands and cooking dinner and dessert for a party. That's why we are a team - because when I say "dinner and dessert" I really mean chicken and penne for the kids, shrimp and grits for the adults, and a layered peppermint cheesecake for dessert. Oh, you know, just dinner and dessert :)

The McCartys and my co-worker/Avarie's teacher/ my friend Laura and her family came over. Nana and Paw Paw were there for a bit but Nana was still recovering so they had to leave early.

The kids partied like crazy, pretty sure they put us to shame. The benefit of having a full band practice area in the basement is that it's easy to create a dance party that anyone can love.


The girls getting ready for the big countdown.


Morgan was a little frustrated with the party but she turned that frown upside down in no time.


The kids taking a turn at Todd's drum set


Bridgette, Laura and I as we rang in 2012

Happy New Year!

Christmas for 2 in NYC

Divorce and shared custody of our children is something Todd and I always describe as Bittersweet. There is nothing we would want more than to have our kids every day and every holiday, but that isn't possible in this new life of ours. The only thing to do is to find the sweet part of missing days with your kids. Often, the sweet part of our life is the time we get to spend as a couple. We both know how hard it is to take time out of a busy family life for dates and trips together, nevermind the logistics of arranging care for the children. When our kids go to their other parent's house and we have time for just us, we make the most of it. Todd and I cherish the time we get together and how it reminds us of the love that we share that gets us through the busy days. This Christmas, we decided to take a trip to New York City. We left on Christmas Eve and took the train to Philly with Tate and Avarie. We met their dad in the train station in Philly so they could go spend Christmas with him. Todd and I changed trains and headed on into New York. We arrived late in the evening on Christmas Eve and found a small Irish pub that was still open. We sat down, took a breath and toasted to the wonderful holiday season we had enjoyed, then crashed out of sheer exhaustion!
We stayed in Chelsea at a fantastic Hilton, ate some delicious meals, and enjoyed some sights and shopping. We really didn't do as much as most tourists might want to, but we really just enjoyed sleeping in, time together walking around and people watching. Todd had made reservations at a few restaurants that he had researched (I'm so lucky!) and we caught up with Todd's friend Anuj who moved to the city last year. The weather was PERFECT!


Christmas Mass at St. Patrick's Catherdral - breathtaking




Rockefeller Center - we didn't skate, just people watched



Macy's - I dragged Todd in here and we braved our way all the way to the top floor where we (!) looked at china of all things. We also went to Lord & Taylor, and looked at all the other holiday windows.



Dinner at Ca Va, a french restaurant near the theater district that was delicious! We both can't wait to go back so we can eat here again.


First trip to Tiffany & Co which Todd had arranged in advance. It was very fitting because it was the only day that it rained, just like it was the night we got engaged. Todd had arranged to meet with the gemologist so we could see the engraving on my ring - amazing! It was so special and we had a champagne toast! Another amazing coincidence, the engagement floor manager who sat with us, grew up in Denver! So we really felt the stars smiling on us!





My Christmas present from Todd to commemorate our first trip to NYC

We had an absolute blast and cannot wait to go back. It's so nice to travel with someone you love!

Christmas...a little early

Ava and Avarie with the nativity set that Nana gave us a few years ago - a Christmas favorite



The preview - in case it's hard to see - that's 3 bikes, 5 hand tied fleece blankets, 7 stockings, 1 giant Kitchenaid Mixer, and countless other items of joy!


The beginning of the morning - notice me with my coffee and two boys wrapped in fleece



Westin got a Redskins jersey, probably his favorite gift


The boys got the very coveted Skylanders which I thought Todd went a little overboard on, but then stores haven't been able to keep them in stock for more than 10 minutes since then. So, I stand corrected.


Nana and Papa got roller skates for the girls because we have the perfect air hockey table in the basement for them to practice around!

2011 was not our year for big Christmas morning because all the children were to be at their other parents' house for the morning of the 25th. We decided that it would be best to just do the whole thing a day early, so we went to sleep on December 23 after Christmas at the McCarty's and woke up to Christmas joy on Christmas Eve. It was perfect! Santa did not visit our house but that was ok because Harrison the Elf had already brought us so much Christmas magic. The kids slept in until 7 and then enjoyed every last bit of what they opened. These kids are truly the happiest bunch you'll ever meet and were so appreciative of everything Todd and I put into planning presents for them. I think they each got a few things they asked for, and they each got a few surprises that they didn't even know they wanted. Todd and I enjoyed watching them and opening a few things for them to play with. The girls were thrilled with their little white puppies that walk on a leash, closest thing we will have to a real dog for now. Todd and I got to enjoy some coffee and quiet time opening gifts together too...a new professional mixer for all these birthday cakes we make, some spectacular new jewelry, fancy headphones for my drummer, and most of all, the compete and utter joy that a happy family can bring you!
It was a quick morning because we had to get packed up, get Todd's kids to their mom and get my kids to the train to go to their dad. Next up, train ride to Philly and then NYC for Todd and I.

Christmas at the McCartys and Gavin's Birthday

This is one big fun FAMILY! I never in my wildest dreams thought that Christmas could be this much fun. We celebrated Christmas with the cousins and Todd's parents and Bridgette and Gavin on December 23 since our kids were going to be at their other home on Christmas morning. We had a blast - Bridgette made a delicious pasta bolognese for dinner and a wonderful cake for Gavin's birthday. We opened gifts with each other and let the kids be wild, but when are kids not wild two days before Christmas with all their cousins, all 8 of them? They were darling and so excited!


Ava & Avarie opening presents



The cousins with Nana Phoebe




The cousins - Enzo, Dylan, Morgan, Westin, Tate, Ava, Lexie and Avarie



TM & Co

It was a great kick off to the Christmas festivities!

Love

"Life is all about timing...the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable...attainable. Have the patience, wait it out."
-Stacy Charter

Two and a half years ago today, I reached out for help. My basket full of life had just been dumped out and I was left shocked, scared, and confused. I had no idea where to start but knew I needed someone who could understand what I was going through, give me some sage advice, and not let me wallow in my sadness. I called my dad and Kay, but just couldn't get the words out. I called my best and dearest friends, but just didn't have the courage to admit what had happened. I finally reached out to the brother of a friend. He was just a few months further along than me and I knew he would have the words of wisdom I needed, but also the tender approach I needed as I sorted it all out.

Enter Todd Fudala. He was at the time merely an acquaintance, the brother of my good friend Bridgette, and someone who was trudging through the hurt that comes when life doesn't quite work out the way you thought. I had spent countless hours on the phone with Bridgette, trying to help her understand what he was feeling, trying to help her so she could help him. I had carefully considered what calling him would mean, but felt that I needed someone who didn't know me as well, didn't know my ex as well, and would be able to give advice with less anger and resentment than any other friend or family member could give at that time. Everyone else was so mad, and so was I, but I needed action and a plan.

Todd tells a great story of logging into work that morning, and mindlessly checking his Facebook and jumping out of his chair when he saw my message telling him what had happened. He jumped up, sprang into action, and has been doing that for me and next to me, and making my heart jump, ever since.

I said "Yes" last night...Yes to a life with a partner, Yes to someone who cares for me and cares about me, Yes to someone who brushes my hair out of my face when my hands are full, when I'm crying, or when I'm just washing the dishes, Yes to loving that man in the same way that he loves me - endlessly, Yes to a step father for my children, Yes to becoming a step mother to his children, Yes to a big family of big smiles, big fun, big grocery trips, big vacations and sometimes big tears, Yes to making it work for the sake of love and a marriage and the commitment of life together.

These lyrics are from one of our favorite musicians, Keith Urban...

You know I can't read your mind my love
But it seems to me
That your heart and mine tonight are
Defying gravity
There's something so familiar
And still so unknown
The closer that we get I swear it feels like coming home
And I'm ready to be brave
Oh yea then you look at me and say baby
If ever I could love I think it could be with you
If ever I thought I found somebody so true
I wonder if you feel
The same way that I do
If ever I could love
I think it could be with you

Happy Valentine's Day

These are the days that I love the contrast of my only childhood compared with the big family I have become a part of now...

The picture is of the kids after school at the kitchen table going through their Valentine bags, loving all the cards they got and trading candy. Yes, trading candy. Nope, I never did that. These kids come home and barter and trade all kinds of combinations to get that favorite candy. I brought my candy home, gave my mom the Snickers bars, gave my dad the 3 Muskateers bars and I ate a little of the rest.




This is Ava and Avarie at Ava's Valentine Party at Primrose.

I enjoyed a wonderful weekend with my Valentine and Valentines. Lucky me!!!

Winter 2011

I never expected to post such broad topics but life seems to be rushing by faster and faster. I guess time flies when you're having fun!

We have enjoyed a colder than usual winter here, including a few decent snowstorms. I always smile because most people here don't like winter or winter weather and they live somewhere that they don't have to deal with much of it. I, on the other hand, still love a good cold day, a good snow, and SEASONS in general. That being said, there are a few neighbors who do give me a hard time for wishing for cold and snow and that they are ready for me to wish for something else. I added a pic of Todd's house on one snowy morning in December.

Christmas was a blast this year! We were fortunate to get to spend Christmas Eve and morning with all 5 kids. What a fun job to shop and wrap all those gifts! Todd and I did almost all of our shopping for the kids while they were away with their other parents over Thanksgiving. Todd had to travel in December and I'm pretty sure I wrapped presents for 4 days! But the sight of the tree on Christmas Eve and then Christmas morning after Santa had come was pure JOY! The children were so excited and so appreciative of all the gifts the received. Everyone stayed quiet in bed until 7:00am, even though the boys had been up since EARLY and had already scouted all the presents. We put everything together and took up the entire curb with trash, but they are still playing with all of it in February. The Lego sets Santa brought the boys have proved to be especially challenging!

Todd and I took my kids to Colorado over New Years to see their dad. We were rescheduled due to weather on the East coast and were sad that we only got a few days in Colorado instead of five because we didn't get to go over to my dad's to visit. However, Todd and I enjoyed a few days of time together and enjoyed the big city.

I try to slow down and take it all in as often as I can because the weeks just fly by. Before I know it soccer season will start and the weather will be warm again.

Fall Fun

It's been a fun and busy fall in Virginia! We have enjoyed school, soccer, ballet and beautiful fall days. I am officially living with Todd and his kids while we still wait and hope that my house on Kipper Turn will sell. (Yes, that was a giant sigh you heard!) It's a busy and happy life with 5 kids one week and 2 kids the next - always an adjustment and always an adventure. The boys (Enzo 10, Westin 7, and Tate 6) played soccer this fall. We fanagled to get Westin and Tate on the same team and they did fantastic! Scored lots of goals, learned to dribble the ball and work as a team. They were both very sad when it ended. Enzo played on a more competitive level being a few years older and I think we all enjoyed the change of pace Enzo's games offered. Let's just say it's a bigger field, and there's a little more strategy involved other than trying to keep the kids spread out away from the ball. All three boys made "Todd's Honor Roll" with stellar report cards. They are Pokemon bandits and are constantly playing, trading, and training although Todd and I can't understand any of what they are talking about. We just smile and nod and know that they're having fun. They love to play outside, typical boys, and Tate learned to ride a two-wheeler finally!

I decided it was time to let Avarie have a chance to try something out too. She and Ava take ballet once a week and are too cute! I'm not quite sure how much the are learning, but they do enjoy going and we will be treated to a recital in June. They are both doing fantastic at school. They love playing make believe, puppies and kitties, coloring and legos. They are too funny and we often call them Frick n Frack, or when they're having a little hen party in the bathroom I call them Ethel and Margaret because they have this secret little language like little old ladies.

I'm still teaching preschool at Greenwood Country Day School and I am teaching the 4's class again this year. I have 18 students and they are a delight. I'm working more this year, staying through nap every day which is both a positive and negative some days. I enjoy having the time to work in my classroom and get planning done, but feel bad that Avarie can't get a good long nap in her own bed. Oh well, we are adjusting and I feel so fortunate to have a good job with great benefits in that I get to have Avarie right next door. Other than work, being a mom takes the top priority. I am still selling on eBay, walking 3 or more miles a day, cooking and baking. Todd and I love to go out and try new restaurants. We recently ate a a tiny restaurant called Mezzanine that was delicious!!! He and some guys in the neighborhood are playing in a band (he was a drummer in a successful local band a while back) and they have played at a couple parties in the neighborhood. I enjoy that they practice in Todd's basement because it's fun to have live music underneath the kitchen while you do Sunday chores.

All in all, it's been a great fall and we are anxious to head into winter - hoping for some snow like last year!

All I want for Christmas...

(2nd summer post still to come. This was just too cute not to post out of order.)

Ah, Avarie, and her endless joy in the most simple of activities. She has been playing with boxes for months now and plays everything from vet, to dog carrier, to cat breeder, to McDonald's worker. She and Ava play for HOURS with all sorts of random boxes. So count this post as one for me to remember the simple days with her, sweet and happy, innocently playing with whatever she can find to fit her game.

All I want for Christmas is that sweet little girl in those boxes, to stay sweet and little for as long as possible. All she wants for Christmas is some more boxes!

Summa Summa Summa

Whew! So I hear that Thursday is the first day of Fall? Really?!?! Well, I suppose I better get a little summer update on here then.

I see that my last post was from June 11, which is exactly one week before Tate's last day of kindergarten, and 8 days before Tate and Avarie left for the summer. Tate had a great kindergarten year, and Avarie grew up so much during her 2 year old preschool year. They were excited to spend the summer with their dad in Colorado, a little nervous about being away from mommy that long, but excited just the same. The end of preschool for me, the end of school for Tate, a birthday visit from my dad, and just life in general didn't give me much time to get upset before they left. (Although I'm sure Todd would say that I shed my fair share of tears.) At any rate, we met Derek in DC on June 18 and the kids flew back with him in time for Father's Day.
The first week was torture, to say the least. I remember Monday morning waking up early to go for my morning walk, and coming back to Todd's expecting a kitchen full of hungry kids, just like every other day. Kids smiling and happy that I am a morning person and am happy to cater to them for breakfast. I walked in and it was silent. No kids. Not mine. Not his. Just quiet. I know there are lots of moms (and dads) who ache for a break, just a day of peace and quiet. I know that I have my moments where I need space, but I have never been a mom who wants to get away from my kids. So, a morning of silence in what is usually a noisy, happy kitchen was painful. I cried immediately. Todd was so sweet, and I knew that I would make it through the summer, and tried to remind myself that this was a chance to take some time for me. Things I didn't expect to be difficult were awful - laundry, grocery shopping, going all the places I usually take my kids in the summer.
Fortunately, I chose to work quite a bit this summer while my kids were away. So, those quiet mornings were quickly filled with hurried hugs and coffee handoffs as I headed to work at 7:30am. At work, I got to get my kid fix with all the sweet faces of summer day care. I also got to get lots of time with Todd's kids every other week, and got a chance to do some fun summer things with them - spend afternoons at the pool, go to the library, outings to Whole Foods, and more. Todd spoiled me ROTTEN with dinners and evenings out to restaurants I'd never been to, concerts, long lazy weekends at the pool and more! We really enjoyed our time together, and he was so sweet waiting up for me to talk to my kids every night. I couldn't believe how fast the days flew by and before I knew it, it was mid-July and Todd and I were headed to Colorado to see the kids.
We got to spend a fun evening with my best college buddies, their husbands and kids. We laughed til we cried, as usual. Ally and Angie and I still know how to wrangle the kids, keep our guys on their toes and have a good time. My life is so much sweeter with friends like them!
My dad picked us up in Denver and drove us all the way back to Ridgway so we could enjoy time with Papa and Nana too. We got an unexpected surprise to join us in Ridgway - Heather broke her leg and needed some help and R&R so she and baby Boden spend the week with us too. Ridgway was great - a chance to soak up every minute with my kids, a chance for Todd to get to know my family, and a chance to enjoy gorgeous Colorado summer in the mountains. We spent a day in Silverton, drove to Telluride, swam in the hot springs, saw lots of wildlife and farm life, and just enjoyed the company. I couldn't have asked for a better place to spend the week. Good food, good wine, lots of smiles!
*sigh* That's only half...

Milestones

I celebrated my 32nd birthday Monday and I have been reflecting on the many milestones in my life in the last year. It's funny to even see the number 32 because I swear I don't feel a day over 26. Why 26, which is the age I jokingly tell people when they ask how old I am, of all the ages I've been, why 26? I realized I definitely still feel like I'm in my 20's but I can't go back before 25 because that's when Tate was born, and his birth making me a mom is such a big part of my life that I most certainly cannot possibly feel younger than when he has been a part of my life. There are certainly things about my life that feel younger than 26, but "mommy" became a part of me and it's not going anywhere EVER. I still love to do all the things I did at 26 - exercise daily, eat yummy food, have drinks with friends and family, blast the music in the car with the sunroof open (and maybe sing, sometimes), learn new things, be a teacher, read smut, shop, savor each season but count down to the next, sit in the sun, SMILE. Maybe it's that all these things are a part of me and that isn't going to change year to year, but this year has been different to put it mildly and if there was ever a year for change, this was it. But all those things remained constant, with a few happy additions, and a few sad deletions, but ME is still ME, and that's a good feeling.
A year ago I thought I was moving back to Colorado, ready to hit the reset button in a sense and start over where I thought I would be home and safe. That all came crashing down around me just a few days after my birthday. What a difference a year makes. This year I was spoiled with a visit from my Dad, a weekend of busy summer activities, and a nice dinner on my actual birthday. My dad arrived on Thursday and stayed through the weekend, he left Sunday afternoon. He got the full welcome of me at the airport with 4 kids to pick him up. He got to meet Todd, Todd's kids, Todd's parents, my wonderful colleagues and friends at work. He went to lunch with Tate at school and spent the morning with Avarie on Friday. We had a wonderful dinner with Todd's parents and all the kids on Saturday night. I was spoiled with delicious barbecue dinner and spoiled with presents. I'm not someone who likes a bunch of presents and such (hated wedding and baby showers) but I have found someone who insists on spoiling me now no matter what the occasion. Todd helped the kids pick out a new sunshine charm for my Pandora bracelet (a sunshine that looks eerily like my tattoo) and Todd got me a beautiful jewelry box to hold all the treasures he spoils me with. I got two other charms from Bridgette (a cupcake) and their parents (a flip flop). We all went to church on Sunday morning to celebrate Bridgette's son Dylan's First Communion which turned out to be a bit dramatic but everything turned out ok. We took my dad to the airport Sunday afternoon which was an easier goodbye than usual because I get to see him again in July.
Monday was back to work and school as usual, although I haven't worked on my birthday since college, but there's nothing like a group of four year olds to help you celebrate. That and an awesome basket of wine and chocolate from my teammate. After work, school and the bus stop, we went out to a wonderful dinner at a local Italian restaurant where we ate bruschetta, black ink pasta and steak. We laughed and talked and enjoyed our dinner and I couldn't help but smile to remind myself of last year. It's funny how little moments make you realize the things about yourself that you celebrate every year. I couldn't have kept all those pieces of me that I described above without the wonderful people who have supported me in every way in the last year, the good, the bad and everything in between. I never thought any of this could happen to me but I'm so grateful for the person I have become, the person I've been for these 26 (plus 8) years.